Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
