No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
