someone get that fucking seahorse.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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