i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
