We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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