Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
false alarm, still single
Randomize