zippers are such a cool invention
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
