do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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