our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
