I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize