Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
