don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
