I molested 6 butterflies tonight
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Are my feet made of real feet?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
