thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize