Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
