careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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