no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
