I wannas sexs uuuuu
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
