I wanna bring you to show and tell
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
