you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize