That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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