I murdered the dance floor call the cops
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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