Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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