your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
