I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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