Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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