My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We are two peas in an std pod
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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