i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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