You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize