I must be too annoying 4 u.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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