Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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