I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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