if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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