oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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