ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Randomize
