last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
