How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
