Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Randomize
