Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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