and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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