He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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