I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
