Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
