Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize