Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize