What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
