My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
