More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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