he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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