honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
