google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
