I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize