All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
