well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
