He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
