my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
