Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
