i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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