I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
